i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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