dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
