I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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