k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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