I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
