I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
