if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
