why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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