you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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