i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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