Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize