Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
