you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
