I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
