and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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