Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this just has baby written all over it
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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