I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize
