Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
