So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
