I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
