Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
