She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
