But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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