I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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