Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
