I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
