my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Houston, we have a squirter
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
