What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
