why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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