eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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