"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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