The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
