so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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