It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
