She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
