People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
