i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize