I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
