I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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