I bet he comes in French.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
