so that wasnt chicken after all
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I need water and some morals
Randomize
