it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
