UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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