It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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