dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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