I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
