So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Buhtt sex?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize