Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
