im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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