Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
MIDGETS
????
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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