One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Randomize