Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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