Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
