I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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