guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
